I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
