Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
