sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
