wrigley field is MILF paradise
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
