bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
