i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i now understand why vodka
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
