i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
