She announced her abortion via fbk
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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