She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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