Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
