sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize