the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
