You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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