I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
