this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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