Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
