You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
