im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's always time for handjobs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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