Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
