Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is Oprah even human
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
