i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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