Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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