i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
