Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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