Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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