How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
