i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
