sorry about calling you the devil all night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
