everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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