You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
