peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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