chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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