conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
