Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
As shirtless as possible
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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