I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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