those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
