Welp...herpes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
