Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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