Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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