maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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