Small penises have feelings too.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
