u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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