You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
