Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
