Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
