You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
