I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
