you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
