Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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