Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
