Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
