k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
foreskin is a definite game changer
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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