Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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