I'm gonna have a badass scar
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
