So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
