I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
