Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
