White coat. Heels.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
