I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
