your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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