WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
