Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
