my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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