Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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