butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this beer tastes like vomit already
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
