i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
