So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just had sex bonerless
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
