these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
