Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
