Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
