you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
