Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
