dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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