I am in a vortex of obligation.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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