it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
