also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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