I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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