I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
