laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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